Sucks to be a Polar Bear, and an American.

The New York Times just released this article:

Polar Bear to Be a Protected Species- NY Times

“The Interior Department declared the polar bear a threatened species Wednesday, saying it must be protected because of the decline in Arctic sea ice from global warming.”

The article then goes on to state that “that sea ice loss will likely result in two-thirds of the polar bears disappearing by mid-century.” Hmmm… I am extremely adamant about saving the polar bears, but did they forget to mention that if the Arctic sea ice melts half of our coastal cities will be UNDER WATER by mid century!!!?

Hello, hi, I am the United States government, and I actually don’t exist on this planet. I exist in a happy land called the District of Columbia which isn’t really one of the 50 states, more like a fictional fantasy land of happiness. Nothing bad happens here. Global warming shwarming!! Not here. Who needs to take care of that problem when you can’t see it? Not from this pretty hill where I sit. I don’t even see any proof of it here on Capital Hill. Why the grass looks so green during this fine month of May. And look! Behold! I see people picnicking and children singing in the National Mall. There is no reason for concern. My word, I better sign some bill so these angry environmentalists stop knocking a down my door. Humbug to you hippies!

If you read the article this Kempthorne guy says ”This listing will not stop global climate change or prevent any sea ice from melting,” said Kempthorne. Great. Ok, so how will you “protect” the poor polar bears who are DROWNING and dying from STARVATION, if this bill doesn’t necessarily attack the problems or causes of global warming? Just slapping some species on a list does not protect it.

I get so annoyed reading these articles. These bureaucratic numbnuts don’t do anything to make a difference.  Sometimes I wish I could just take over Washington myself. It would be like an episode of The Three Stooges. I would bang congress’ heads together until they saw tweety birds flying over their heads and had x’s for eyes. I would march into President Bush’s office and then shake his hand with a buzzer attached to mine, giving him a good little shock. Then when I had him alarmed, but laughing at my little joke (You know, Georgie would be chuckling “Oh jeepers, you really got me with that crazy hand joke missy.” ) I would uppercut him in the jaw, and pull some kind of karate move that would bust his ass and leave him with his left arm tightly pulled behind his back. I would tell him “I will not let go until you say ” sign all these new bills. Say “uncle” if you don’t want me to pull tighter!” And with that ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, by a simple act of renegade self- righteousness meets government coup, I bring you the fruits democracy with out all the red tape and years of waiting for our next president to tackle the problems. Over night gas prices would be lowered by two dollars, major industrial corporations would be forced to meet safety and green standards, the United States would become an active member of many an international environmental organizations, people would wake up looking forward to go to the dentist, chiropractor or pharmacist because we would have universal healthcare, all of our energy and water would be clean, safe, and efficient, children in bad areas would have food and proper school materials, Roe vs. Wade wouldn’t even be questioned, and gay people all over the country would be getting married at the speed of jack rabbits.

I might be just a dream, but it can be a reality one day. If you ask me, us American are no better off than the polar bears. I am keeping my fingers crossed, and my heart filled with hope that this 2008 election will change all of that…or will it not?

Time will tell.

Grand Theft Auto 4

Holy good mother of god, this game is an addiction. I am not a video gamer. I am so un-hip to the world of video game playing , I can’t even play with an analog (joystick) that comes with most controllers. I don’t know what it is, but I never got into video games. Yes, its true people like me DO exist. It’s not that I hate video games, or the people who play them. Not at all. I think when Play Station came out I was around 11/12 years old and I just had other things on my mind. Those other things were probably boys, ballet, playing the trumpet, and reading Paul Zindel books. Really, I can’t say why I didn’t go bat shit for Mario Kart, or why I didn’t stomp around Toys ‘R Us demanding the latest and the greatest in consoles. I think really what it boiled down to was me not wanting to be in the house. I always wanted to make plans to hang out with my girlfriends, or talk on the phone. I was and still am a chatty little bee, and it was important for me to have all my free time for socializing and do arty things. Video games just got in the way of my social time, and if I was home I was probably practicing trumpet, memorizing the lyrics to “Naughty by Nature” songs, or riding my bike to Jeanne Haley’s house.

So anyway, how in the hell did I make it through the past 15 years? How did I somehow manage to miss the boat on the wonderment and enjoyment of video games? James Bond, Grand Theft Auto 1-3, World of Warcraft, Halo, Zelda, Tony Hawk, Final Fantasy? Yes, yes, yes I missed it all. However, I was never not intrigued by games. I honestly love watching people play. Others know how to work these new fangled controllers so well, why suffer when they can do all the work and I can watch the story unfold? Seriously, some of these games are better than movies. There are endless possibilities and highly intricate story lines. Movies can get so predictable, and when you spend the majority of your college years studying anf analyzing film, not even the most shocking or thrilling movies of the year seem all that invigorating. Everything becomes kinda predictable. So watching others play these highly evolved ‘movies’ really isn’t a problem for me. Really, no one wants to watch me play a video game. I struggle with the mass quantity of buttons and just mash the controller in hopes that I can “finish him” in Mortal Kombat. I have no freakin’ clue how to move my character with that rolly polly analog joystick thing. No clue. When playing any kind of character game I either run my character into corners and walls, or if it is a speed game, then my car will consistently off-road it and run into a ditch, smashing into trees and exploding into a mass of flames and destruction.

Last night all of that changed. I have always thought -”Eh whatever, learning how to use this controller object is not that important to me. I am not really a video game person.” Well, the rooster has crowed. I am ready. I have been awakened by the chaos that is Grand Theft Auto 4. For Christmas I had gotten my live-in boyfriend an Xbox360. Every now and then I pass the TV and ooh and ahh at the graphics, and finally after all these years, Guitar Hero II called to me, beckoning me to give video games another try. Granted, I am a professional at Super Mario Bros. 3, and will whoop you in Mike Tyson’s Punch-out, but nowadays no one totes around bragging right to those relics.

After watching Paul play GTA 4 for about 10+ hours last week I decided enough was enough. I need to try out this little biddy. To my surprise I wasn’t half as bad as a thought, but mother of pearl, I need to get better. In an effort to learn how to better control the driving aspect of the game, I stole a sanitation truck and practiced driving slowly in the streets. I don’t think I need to describe to you the mayhem that ensued from what appeared to be a drunken truck driver wrecking havoc in the streets of Liberty City. Trust me, it was an asinine scene.

Here’s to you GTA 4. Let see if I can do this. I will update this when I make my first kill and my complete my first successful mission. Buahahahahaha.

Hello world!

Yes… Hello World.

I had a number of ideas for my first blog. You know… What kind of statement did I want to make to impress upon anyone who stumbles onto this blog? How can I cleverly express what it is I am trying to get at? What are my motives for writing, and what will be my specific angle? What is the purpose of this blog? And you know… it’s none really. At least not right this minute. I am on this thing like everybody else. I’m just a gal who is trying to state her piece upon this tiny planet in a very large universe. Will it matter? Yes, no, maybe, who knows. Does anything matter? Well we cannot be sure of that.

In the terms of this blog and it’s microscopic real estate on the interweb, I have come to realize that the only things that matter here are what I want to talk about. I will forewarn you… some of it may be stream of consciousness type stuff- like what I ate for dinner, where I went this weekend, or how cute the latest posts from www.icanhascheezburger.com have been. Or, I might flip the switch and adamantly state my preference on which political candidate I think should take presidential office, or wax philosophical on potential strategies for reversing global warming. Then again I will bet the farm that this will become a largely music related blog. After all it’s the industry in which I work and it’s a passion of mine. It’s my true first love. So sit tight friends, it’s going to be a mixed bag.

Stick around and enjoy the show. Comment on my rants. After all it’s a global village, and what would it be if I was the only villager around?

I am looking forward to this. Finally, my blogs will be posted somewhere else besides the campgrounds of MySpace. Hmmm… my thoughts on that are for another day and another blog.

Cheers,

NtC