Hey guys, now it’s time for something completely different. No, it’s not just because I posted a random picture of a sushi clock. I mean something new for my blog. But the sushi clock is funny huh? Looks like it’s Tuna past Squid O’Clock in this picture, and you know what that means…
Anyway, I will now be adding a section to my blog called “True Story”. Whenever I encounter something completely crazy, hilarious, and “only in New York City” I am going to jot it down here. Yesterday, I had such an happening. Let me paint you a picture.
It’s about 6:30 PM, a nice but a chilly 55 degrees out, and I decided to do a long walk down to Union Square. When I get to Union Square I realize that I feel like writing in my journal. I pop in my phones, whip out my journal, and start writing. All of a sudden my pocket starts vibrating. It’s my phone. As I take the call I find out that there is some bad news, actually some upsetting news about someone close to me. I get a little upset and get a little misty eyed. I couldn’t help it. As I sit on the bench with my dark aviators covering my eyes, I am confident enough that no one can see me tearing it up in public. I guess I was completely incognito (or maybe it’s just because I am sitting in the most crazy magnet prone part of the city) because out of nowhere I feel someone standing in front of me (I am looking down at my journal now). Into my nostrils comes the nice fresh scent of Campbell’s soup (could that be b.o.?,) and cigarettes. I look up and a bum is standing before me smoking a cigarette. At first I look at him through dark colored specs like “are you kidding me. Go away!” Then I notice that he has a sign. It s a long strip of cardboard that reads:
” Can I be your sexy time Playboy?”
No, no. I shake my head, hoping he walks away. Then he pulls out another cardboard sign:
“I promise I am not as queer as Brad Pitt.”
What this means, I cannot tell you.
No, no, I shoo him away with my hand one more time. He leaves and moves onto the next couple sitting on the bench next to me.
I think the debacle is over, which with him it is. I go back to listening to my music, and obviously way over being upset I decide that I am gonna chill out and listen to some tunes. Just when I think crazy times in Union Square are over I hear a sound come bursting through my headphones. The bum who was sitting about 2 yards away from my has awoken from his slumber. He decides that it is time to wake up and let the whole world know about Jesus. But this is not just any kind of rant. This is a singing rant. A singing rant in which the bum decided to sign to us all his lovely words of wisdom “Lord Jesus is gonna save you! He loves you! Just ask me. I know!!” He then stands up, unzips his pants, turns behind him and takes a piss in the bushes next to the bench.
Oh, how I love New York.
True story.
