Holy good mother of god, this game is an addiction. I am not a video gamer. I am so un-hip to the world of video game playing , I can’t even play with an analog (joystick) that comes with most controllers. I don’t know what it is, but I never got into video games. Yes, its true people like me DO exist. It’s not that I hate video games, or the people who play them. Not at all. I think when Play Station came out I was around 11/12 years old and I just had other things on my mind. Those other things were probably boys, ballet, playing the trumpet, and reading Paul Zindel books. Really, I can’t say why I didn’t go bat shit for Mario Kart, or why I didn’t stomp around Toys ‘R Us demanding the latest and the greatest in consoles. I think really what it boiled down to was me not wanting to be in the house. I always wanted to make plans to hang out with my girlfriends, or talk on the phone. I was and still am a chatty little bee, and it was important for me to have all my free time for socializing and do arty things. Video games just got in the way of my social time, and if I was home I was probably practicing trumpet, memorizing the lyrics to “Naughty by Nature” songs, or riding my bike to Jeanne Haley’s house.
So anyway, how in the hell did I make it through the past 15 years? How did I somehow manage to miss the boat on the wonderment and enjoyment of video games? James Bond, Grand Theft Auto 1-3, World of Warcraft, Halo, Zelda, Tony Hawk, Final Fantasy? Yes, yes, yes I missed it all. However, I was never not intrigued by games. I honestly love watching people play. Others know how to work these new fangled controllers so well, why suffer when they can do all the work and I can watch the story unfold? Seriously, some of these games are better than movies. There are endless possibilities and highly intricate story lines. Movies can get so predictable, and when you spend the majority of your college years studying anf analyzing film, not even the most shocking or thrilling movies of the year seem all that invigorating. Everything becomes kinda predictable. So watching others play these highly evolved ‘movies’ really isn’t a problem for me. Really, no one wants to watch me play a video game. I struggle with the mass quantity of buttons and just mash the controller in hopes that I can “finish him” in Mortal Kombat. I have no freakin’ clue how to move my character with that rolly polly analog joystick thing. No clue. When playing any kind of character game I either run my character into corners and walls, or if it is a speed game, then my car will consistently off-road it and run into a ditch, smashing into trees and exploding into a mass of flames and destruction.
Last night all of that changed. I have always thought -”Eh whatever, learning how to use this controller object is not that important to me. I am not really a video game person.” Well, the rooster has crowed. I am ready. I have been awakened by the chaos that is Grand Theft Auto 4. For Christmas I had gotten my live-in boyfriend an Xbox360. Every now and then I pass the TV and ooh and ahh at the graphics, and finally after all these years, Guitar Hero II called to me, beckoning me to give video games another try. Granted, I am a professional at Super Mario Bros. 3, and will whoop you in Mike Tyson’s Punch-out, but nowadays no one totes around bragging right to those relics.
After watching Paul play GTA 4 for about 10+ hours last week I decided enough was enough. I need to try out this little biddy. To my surprise I wasn’t half as bad as a thought, but mother of pearl, I need to get better. In an effort to learn how to better control the driving aspect of the game, I stole a sanitation truck and practiced driving slowly in the streets. I don’t think I need to describe to you the mayhem that ensued from what appeared to be a drunken truck driver wrecking havoc in the streets of Liberty City. Trust me, it was an asinine scene.
Here’s to you GTA 4. Let see if I can do this. I will update this when I make my first kill and my complete my first successful mission. Buahahahahaha.
